Letters to AOS 3

No. This wasn't right... Superman hitting a little girl? Zapping her on the shoulder with his heat vision? I liked the opening scenes with Joey, a cool character, the everyman of Metropolis... Interesting choice of POV character but... You've characterised Superman as a loose cannon who ups and punches out little girls (it was only near the end when I realised she was 19, I gathered she was 10 or something by the characterisation)... I don't know. I'll wait for the next issue for the next part and see what I thinks then.

And was that police officer Irish? That line made me laugh...

OK… Here goes.

I liked the premise. Lex Luthor hires a 19 year old witch to humiliate & defeat Superman. There’s promise in that. I did not, however, like the stories execution. Supes would not have B***h slapped a teenager, no matter how powerful she may be. He would have found another way. The heat vision thing… that was right on the money. He just singed her to break her concentration. But to slap her? I don’t think so.

Joey was cool. The cops were cool. Their one liners were not. It gave them personalities, but it didn’t work for me.

Lex Luthor’s scheming was nice, but did he have to yell every other line? Luthor is more reserved than that, even when he’s very excited. He’s a cool, calm & collected business man. I understand him yelling in triumph when he reappears, but to yell at the girl when she’s standing right next to him?

Roy, the cover was great! The colors, the effects, the angle (you have a way of drawing covers in unique angles. Even though it is a straight shot, Supes is obviously struggling, and whatever he’s struggling with is winning… you portrayed it nicely!

I do not mean to be too harsh, but Superman WOULD NOT slap a young girl.

I think you had some wonderful idea's going on in this story. There were a few issue's that have already been addressed here so I won't rehash them. I will offer a "good job" for not only writing the story, but putting it out there for all of us to see.
The only other suggestion that I could give you is to take the good, constructive, criticism that you have received and use it to further develop the talents that you do have. Then take the not so constructive one's and roll them up in a little ball and throw them as far away from you as possible. They really are not worth your time and should not even be commented on.

So once again, "good job"

Peace,
Starlord

I'm only nice in my Starlord persona. ;D

I liked it. No, I really did. I liked the premise (I'm a sucker for anything magic), and I loved that it was (I believe) an original villain. Points for her telling Luthor off, too. Definitely solid stuff.

Well, the danger with running a site whose motto is "for the fans, by the fans" is that you run into enthusiastic, well-intentioned fans who have more enthusiasm than talent and sometimes get it wrong. Such is the case here.

This entire issue was written out of continuity as a delusion of a mentally handicapped person (the infamous "bus scene" in Action #1).

I would like to weigh in on the slapping scene, too. Granted, she was attacking him, but he needn't have resorted to slapping her--- Superman has a variety of ways to incapcitate an assailant, and the character has always evidenced a gentlemanly/boy scout sensativity about this sort of thing. I think most fans would feel this was out of character (and inappropriate in most circumstances)--- but, once again, we all project our own interpretation upon these characters.

This seems like the first act of a better story. By itself it just seems unfinished. It reminds me of reading 12 issues of "Hush" and thinking, "wait this isn't finished."