BIRDS of PREY #7: Tragical Comedy

a Middle Hampton boulevard
“Car 54, where are you?”

The screaming siren and whirling blue lights gave the most immediate answer to the officer’s panicked cry. The squad car in question jerked around the corner and screeched to a halt. The jarred scene appeared in the dashboard camera, capturing the motley sight of maniac criminals Punch and Jewelee bounding down the wide alley. The cop who had made the plea turned to see reinforcements arrive before being struck in the back by three yellow beams of light. As the new arrivals leaped from the car, the camera watched the lights make the officer dance and caper, while the man with the strange gun, Punch, laughed and darted up through the air with his special boots.

“Dance, I say! Say to your partners, ‘dosey D’OH!’” Punch called as his partner Jewelee used her own spring-boots to spin upside down in midair, one of her gems taking the flashing blue lights and reflecting them, scattering them about in new colors, with new patterns.

“Guys, duck!” the trapped cop shouted as his feet did an impromptu jig. His hand though, raised his firearm at them and began to fire. This forced the momentarily entranced newcomers to dive low as bullets struck the hood and doors.

“Hey! You’re salting my game over here, beloved putz o’ mine!” Jewelee yelled as she landed on the roof of the car. She spun the tight bracelet of multi-colored stones as she glared up at her husband. “Can’t keep ‘em glazed over if you’re shooting at them!”

“‘Salting your game’? Are you hanging out with the local hoodlums again, pumpkin seed?” Punch taunted as he flicked his wrist with the “sting-string” gun and made the cop jump as hard as he could into the nearby brick wall. “What have I told you about trying to sound like the youngsters, my dear old hag?” He landed on the roof of the car as well, the two of them hunched on either side of the lightbar as the pair of cops gathered their wits and turned to aim at them.

“You’re under arrest!” the driver tried to gain control of the situation, both hands on his gun as he got to his own crouch. “Put your ha--”

“Hag! Calling me a hag!” Jewelee screeched as her red jewel flared up and created a massive sphere of spinning colors. When the cops could clear their eyes they fired at the two criminals, but the dash-cam showed the truth.


Platinum Flats,
Coyote Cafe
“You’re what? Fifty? Sixty? At least a hundred in dog years!” Punch, the actual Punch, said as he bounded away from the car and stuck his tongue out at his wife. She quickly pursued him, leaving the holograms in place as the sounds of shots firing and cries of pain were picked up and added to the grainy, shaky footage.

“Speaking of dogs, you miserable…” The rest of Jewelee’s response was lost in the din as the two criminals cavorted in their escape and Jonni Thunder punched the key to stop the video.

“You will be pleased to know that the two officers received only mild injuries,” Mockingbird’s voice assured the private eye as she leaned back in her seat, arms folded, a scowl on her face. “I thought for sure that would cheer you up?”

“Sure that's a good thing,” Jonni replied and sipped her coffee. She sighed as part of her awareness returned to the Coyote Cafe, having been drawn wholly into the video. “Now what’s this got to do with us?”

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking, my dear? I would think it is obvious: help capture these two masked menaces, take them off the mean streets and away from the poor innocents they would harm,” Mockingbird’s shaded image now appeared as Jonni closed out another tab on the monitor. She had really begun to tire of how his slick smile remained so visible despite everything else.

“Mortalla and SPIDER. Red Claw. They made sense. If you’d told us about the Moondancers even, I’d get it,” Jonni ticked off on her fingers. “But these two are just bank robbers. They have some gadgets, yeah, but they barely draw superhero attention. A Major Crimes unit can handle these guys now that the word’s out they’re back in the game. This just all seems like petty crime.”

Somehow, Mockingbird’s face darkened. Jonni could tell when the ever-present smile flickered away momentarily. “There is nothing petty about this,” he said in a restrained voice.

“I said they were petty. Petty criminals.” She took a deep drink of her coffee to hide her own awareness of this over-reaction. “I mean, if this is the job you want done, that’s fine. They’re bad guys, after all. And dangerous.”

“Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page about this then, Jonni.” That smile came back and his whole posture relaxed, hands folding on top of his oaken desk. “I apologize for misunderstanding you. I should have known better. We have established such a good relationship.”

“Good to hear,” Jonni answered more cautiously. “I have the police reports about this spree in the Hamptons. Eight yards of ermine, two bolts of crushed velvet, and this latest netted them four rubies, four diamonds, a dozen pearls and a sapphire. Any idea what they’re up to?”

“Ah, my dear Ms. Thunder, what have I said so often?”

“That’s my job, you’re just sitting there in the dark to spend money and watch us run around dancing to your tune,” she replied, a little harsher than intended.

“Are you getting weary of the arrangement, Ms. Thunder?” He leaned forward, fingers steepled, and something in those eyes, she could nearly see them clearly now, almost yellowish.

“Nah. Not at all. It just seems to me like this sort of...er, ‘crime wave’,” she described it with air quotes, “naturally leads to speculating what’s going on. Regardless of roles.”

“I see.” He sat back and chuckled. “Let me assure you, Jonni, that you are making progress. Don’t give up the ghost just yet. For now, have fun with Punch and Jewelee.” He reached a finger out and then the webcam shut down, with Jonni left there musing over his words.

“One more?” Frankie asked as he stepped up with a fresh steaming cup of her favorite mix. She glanced up at him quickly and closed her laptop. “Sorry, not trying to eavesdrop. But you come here all the time, and...well...it’s just getting harder to be professional about it all, y’know?”

She took the cup and let out a sigh. “It’s okay. Just so long as you’re not the man behind the curtain, we’ll be okay.” She smiled at him, to reassure the young man.

“Wizard of Oz reference! I get that. I love old movies. Y’know, there’s a re-release coming out, and I think the Majestic is getting it in. You wouldn’t, like...want to go check it out with me, would you?”

At first, the words didn’t really make sense to her as she stared up at him. Her brain slowly processed the request as she sipped, and Frankie began to get red-faced. “Um, listen, sorry, that was way too forward. Oh man, I wasn’t trying to harass you or anything. Please, don’t tell my manag--”

“I’d like that. Sounds like fun,” Jonni finally answered. Not my typical choice of date, but I’m pushing thirty-seven and single and so maybe my typical choice sucks, she figured.

“There’s an eight o’clock showing on Friday?”

“I’ll meet you at the theater, Frank.” She smiled as he practically skipped back to his counter. Should have Punch and Jewelee put away by then, right?


Platinum Flats apartments,
above the Thunder Detective Agency
Clothes and accessories filled the airy, spacious apartment shared by Halo and Cindy. Each item was laid out carefully and put together with precision. Amy had brought over a full suitcase of her own outfits to pool with Cindy’s smaller collection, and all three girls were pouring over the combinations, deep in thought.

“I didn’t realize going to high school took so much work,” Halo said.

“Nah, the work starts when you get to school,” Cindy explained. “In theory.”

Amy folded over a pleat in a skirt to better cover a pair of leggings, and grinned. “This isn’t work, this is fun!”

“You’ve picked out like a week’s worth of stuff for all of us,” Cindy laughed as she began to gather up her clothes from the floor and couch. “Maybe now we can look over our schedules?”

“Aw, but Halo’s still having fun. Aren’t you?” Amy asked her, holding out a colorful beaded necklace like dangling bait.

Halo took the beads and wound them around her fingers with a sheepish smile. “I didn’t know there was so much you could do with clothes. It’s like paint, but with even more things. Textures and lengths and layers. And these are so pretty…” she unfurled and re-tied the beads over and over again.

“Fine, but I’m looking at my classes. You do remember why we’re supposed to be going to school, right?” Cindy teased Amy and pulled out the three letters that they had received.

“If I just wanted to go to classes, I’d stay with Dad,” Amy countered. “At least when he used to homeschool me I didn’t have to wake up so early.”

Protests to the contrary, it had been Amy that convinced her dad to let her mainstream again. Herb Winston’s recollections of the last time his daughter was around a large group of people scared him.* But Amy (with help from Kendra and Jonni), explained how it would be good for her to interact with people who weren’t superheroes.

*See Birds of Prey #4 and 5 for details!

While Amy thought about that conversation, Cindy remembered Kendra taking her aside, asking her to keep an eye out for Amy and Halo, like a big sister. “Like I was back in the League, with you and the twins,” she explained. Already an idol to her, Cindy loved the idea and enthusiastically agreed, though Kendra and Herb warned her to keep that quiet. “Just be there for them,” Kendra explained with a sisterly squeeze of Cynthia’s shoulders.

The girls were broken from their reverie by Halo, who swung her legs off the side of the couch and said, “I just wish I could know how to act already. But you tell me about music bands and actors and bells and cafeterias and I’ve never heard of any of it before. It’s not fair I have to already know so much in order to go and learn.”

“It’s not, but we’ll get you there, I promise,” said Cindy. “It’s not like school is going to be all day. We have every afternoon to just hang out and show you how to be a teenager.”

Amy finally started to gather up her outfits, keeping them sorted out. “At least you’re gonna be miles ahead of everyone in classes. You’re too good for high school, don’t you already know about physics and spaceship kinds of things?”

Halo nodded. “I remember some things that I must have learned in my other life. It’s weird what I do remember, though. I have this feeling I didn’t know English until I started talking to Jonni. But then I know a few things about science, but nothing about my own powers.”

“Well, you weren’t gonna find that in a textbook anyway.” Amy smiled at her. “Just like I’m not gonna find Gemworld by taking earth science. You just count yourself lucky you don’t have to try to get some of those good grades.”

“It won’t be as hard as you think,” Cindy added. “So don’t worry. I’m making it my personal mission to make sure you get to know all about teens in their natural environment.”

“And in the meantime, there’s TV!” With an even brighter grin, Amy jumped up and rummaged around in her bag until she pulled out a DVD set. “We’ve still got today, we can start teaching you now. You’re gonna love this one, it’s all about this girl named Jessica, and she has this boyfriend Marcus, but Marcus has a dark and mysterious past...”

The three girls spent the day enthralled by the show, Cindy and Amy made fun when it veered too far away from reality while Halo just watched, and absorbed it, and smiled.


Santiago, California,
Sanbourne Institute of Pacific Antiquities
Dawn Makes Strong Move hunched over her desk, fingers tapping at the laptop keys as her brown eyes flicked from handwritten notes to the monitor and back again. The desk was piled with open books, scattered pencils and balled up note paper, and more of the balls of yellow legal paper spilled into the wastebasket at her side. She puffed at the stray lock of black hair that continued to taunt her eyes, all the while she filled the air with the soft music of keys. She found herself in a zone at last, and the words entered the computer fast and furious. The monitor’s glow and the surviving papers were her whole world at that precise moment.

“Excuse me, Miss Strong?” It was a courteous, gentle intrusion into her world, but it still made Dawn jump. She pivoted on her chair to see the man at her office door, face confused as she tried to figure out who it was there. “Sorry to interrupt, Miss Strong, but I made an appointment? I’m John Montaine.”

He stepped in now, and held a hand out to her; a hand to which she was slow to respond. She rose up from her seat and felt the rough hand clasp hers and shake it firmly. He gave a reserved smile, and she finally refocused her eyes on the newcomer. He was tall, with a wide face framed by short-cropped black hair, and dark black eyes that gave her equal attention. Her brain now tried to figure out where she recognized the tall, handsome man from while he continued to speak.

“If this is a bad time, I can reschedule,” he assured Dawn as he regarded her in return; noted the thick black braid stretching down her back, her casual attire and the way she now stood. She was five foot eight, but with her posture erect and her attention returned from her writing, she filled her office as if she were nearly as large as his own six foot four inch frame. Something about her demanded attention now as she let his hand go.

“No, it’s alright. Please come in. Can I get you some coffee?” she offered as she pulled out a chair for him. “You know how it is when you’re finally in the zone, I’m sure, Mr. Montaine.”

“Call me John,” he answered as he settled into the chair and watched her pour some dark liquid into a mug emblazoned with the name of the Sanbourne Institute. “Just a teaspoon of sugar, please.”

She handed over the mug then perched on her desk, one leg crossed over the other and swaying barefoot through the air. “I’m Dawn. What can I do for you?”

“I help to oversee the home school program back at the Crow Reservation in Montana,” he explained, and opened up a backpack. He handed her a file to reference as he spoke about hoping to take advantage of the educational materials Dawn was already preparing, to find some way to adjust them for interested home-schooling parents. “We feel this is our best hope to reignite a larger awareness of our history in our kids.” He finished the spiel, that interested face and pleasant smile held in place as his brain ran over the truth. What can you do for me, Dawn? You can explain all this Manitou Dawn stuff to me, is what you can do. And you can damn well not tell the council of wisdom I came here to talk to you ahead of our chosen rep. Yeah, do all that for me.

“I see. An interesting pitch,” she replied as she flipped through the folder, paying little heed to the small hints of deception showing through his bluff. “I like it, I really do. I hadn’t thought of that approach. It’d take a lot of work though.”

“Well, some sure, but I’m not sure why you think it’d be that tough?” His mask slipped a little as she regained his attention, and saw the excitement on her face. He brightened in reaction; it hadn’t occurred to him that there might be a real project here.

“I’ve been focusing on making a curriculum for public education, and other formal school systems interested in the subject matter,” she answered. “These statistics though, they point out to me there’s a growing home school movement. I hadn’t really paid it any mind at all, but...but I should! I want to bring this up to the Sanbourne board, and expand the original project, but that means the materials need multiple ways to be presented. I’m gonna need help with that. This,” she waved her hand at the array of work materials around her, “was not really a one-person job. There’s no way doubling or tripling the workload could be. I guess, what I’m saying, if you’re interested, is how about coming on board? You and me, we could really make this project sing.”

He ran his hand through his hair, and looked away. This was unexpected, but he couldn’t deny the appeal of the project. It had been a bluff, but she doubled down and what could he do now? Besides, she was right. He could feel such good energy coming from her, and it stirred his own excitement. “I’ll think it over, but I think, if your institute supports the project, I’ll be saying yes. I’m going to be in town for a couple of days, so maybe we can meet up for lunch tomorrow? Work this sad little thing,” he pointed to the folder, “into a real pitch?”

“Done, and done. I’ll see you tomorrow, John.” She shook his hand again, and watched him head out of the office. She let out an exasperated breath. She was excited, this could be great, and it wouldn’t be hard sharing space with him, she knew all that. But damned if I can’t figure out where I know that name from.

You’ve done it now, John Fire Mountain, he chided himself as he pulled his bicycle from the rack and started off for his hotel. Ernest would wring my neck if he knew I came out here on my own like this. Well, Ernest might not, but Ms. Miriam… He gave a shudder as he biked away, lost in thought.


New York City,
Columbia University
Kendra’s pencil tapped on the edge of the table as she stared at her notes. Before too long, the tapping had found the rhythm of the song stuck in her head, and become a much better distraction from her work than a way to focus on it. With a frustrated growl, she tossed it halfway across the room. At least getting up to retrieve it would be a break from the monotony.

By the time Kendra had taken advantage of the chance to stretch out her arms and kick out her legs, Paul was standing at the other end of the table, holding up her pencil. “I think you lost this?”

“Oh…yeah, lost. Thanks,” Kendra took the pencil back and sank back into her chair.

Paul sat across from her and peered at the open notebooks and library books. The massive pile spread before her contained far too many books to check out, so Kendra had drowned her table in open pages and carelessly-strained bindings. That, and the four empty coffee cups she’d already been through. There was barely room for Paul’s elbows until he gathered up the cups to sweep into the trash nearby. “You’re in McKean’s English class right?”

“How did you know?” Kendra looked back up gratefully, without a single word more jotted down on her page.

“I had him last year. I’ve never seen a teacher want so many citations,” Paul laughed a little.

Kendra folded her arms over her notebook and grinned. “Oh I know! Every thought I have, I have to go dig up someone else who thought it first. I got dinged pretty bad for that last time. How did you deal with it?”

“Mostly by not having thoughts,” Paul admitted. “I found the quotes first and wrote the paper around them.”

She stared up at the boy and then slammed her notebook closed. “You’re a genius. A lazy, lazy genius.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Paul leaned closer over the table, and Kendra re-opened her book to another page to start scribbling at last. “You must have been working really hard all day. Y’know, I think you deserve to relax a little.”

“Mm. I wish,” Kendra answered absently. She wouldn’t have so much work to do now if she hadn’t had to put this paper off for so long. But there was no time to write about what other people thought about Shakespeare when she was fighting with the Birds of Prey. Her mind was far away, and her eyes were close on the page, and no part of her paid attention to the boy’s eyes glancing all over her.

“I’ve heard you’re pretty good at sports,” Paul said after a moment of awkward silence. “Do you play anything here? I’d love to go watch you.”

“No time,” Kendra said, again more gruffly than she intended. “I used to play softball when I was a kid.”

“I bet that was a sight.” He stretched his own arms back over his head, a well-worked and well-muscled chest pressing against his t-shirt. He held the pose a moment too long and let it fall again when Kendra didn’t see. “So listen…you like Italian?”

Kendra looked up, but the cell phone tucked into her bag started to trill loudly and vibrantly enough to draw stares from across the library. “Oh god, I’m sorry, sorry!” She shouted, only earning her more hushing before she answered the call. “Hello?” Paul tried to ask who it was, but stopped at the finger that Kendra held up in front of him. “What’s up Jonni?....who? But they’re total losers…really? Okay. If you insist.” She ended the call abruptly, but it was hard to hold back the grin on her face despite her words. “Sorry, something came up. I gotta go,” Kendra told Paul as she scooped her notebooks back into her bag. She was off to her other job without taking so much time as to close her books.

Paul kept talking for a minute after she left; it wasn’t like it made a difference whether or not she was there to pretend to listen. “So I was thinking around eight?”


Thunder Detective Agency,
Platinum Flats
“Okay, I’m here, hope I’m not late,” Kendra called out as she dashed down from the roof entrance, pulling her helmet off her head. She glanced around at the conference room, the number of empty chairs around the wooden table. Jonni sat at the head, feet kicked up as she scribbled notes in an open folder. “Wow. I’m still the first person here?”

“Yup.” Jonni took a sip from her mug then made another note.

“I came in from the east coast.” Jonni nodded in response. “Dawn works out here in the same state.”

“Yup.”

Onyx lives in the same city.”

“Yup.”

“What does that say about our team, I wonder?” Kendra tossed the helmet on the table, unstrapped her wings and a backpack tucked between them, then dropped onto a chair.

“Think it says more about your feelings about grad work,” Jonni replied with a wink and then closed the folder up.

“Maybe,” Kendra mumbled and glanced away. “Just at a tough part, I guess. And the electives.”

“Electives? You’re taking other classes? Aren’t you in a doctorate? What are you doing taking other classes?”

“Well yeah. I mean, have you seen what it’s like in the Justice League?” Kendra countered with a sigh. “These guys have multiple degrees in harder and harder physics specializations, and quoting holy texts at length while mastering intergalactic macroeconomics. Heck, inventing intergalactic macroeconomics. Being a superhero is hard work!”

“But I thought the Flash could read things at his super-speed, and Atom’s got like a photographic memory, doesn’t he? And the Bat, well...he’s just crazy obsessed about being right all the time, I’ve heard.”

“Wonder Woman’s a queen, a superhero, an occasional spy and a philosopher, while running an embassy,” Kendra replied. “And did you know Dawn has a Master’s in Social Anthropology with a Bachelor’s in bibliometrics?”

“Dawn? Wow,” Jonni said with a surprised look on her face. “I didn’t know that. I didn’t even know bibliometrics.” She paused a moment and then added, “Maybe I should go back to school too.”

“What’s this about going back to school? Who’s going back to school?” Onyx asked as she entered the conference room. She poured herself some tea then took a seat near Kendra.

“The girls did, how was their first day?” Kendra asked. “Anyone check on them?”

“I did, actually,” Jonni said with a laugh. “It sounds like they’re going to be okay. Amy and Halo settled right in from the sounds of it, of course. They were chatting about drama club and softball and all that. Cynthia was a bit quieter, but I think we have to expect that.”

“I’ll check in on her, make sure it’s okay,” Kendra said. “How’s the dojo?”

“Good.” Onyx smiled and sipped her tea. “So far, so good. Jose has gotten some more students, enough to add a couple of more classes. And no more signs of trouble since a few nights back.” Both women chuckled at that as Dawn finally arrived.

“I’m here, sorry about that,” she said as she darted in and slid onto a chair, her briefcase tossed onto the table. “Lost track of time. Got a new project coming up, I think, and just got all caught up in it.”

“All right, let’s get down to brass tacks,” Jonni said now that everyone was present. “Our latest case is these two.” She clicked a remote and the television on the wall lit up with a screen capture of the two motley criminals escaping the police, sack of gems in hand. “They call themselves Punch and Jewelee.”

“Really?” Kenda arched a brow and shook her head. “You were serious about these losers?”

“Losers or not, they’re on a crime...spree?” Jonni sounded exasperated. “Each of you has a copy of the file on them. What they’re up to out in Long Island. And they are dangerous, even deadly.”

“I’ve got no issue with busting their heads, but you’re telling me that Mockingbird gives two damns about them?” Kendra added.

“None of these crimes makes any sense,” Onyx said as she read the papers in front of her. “Bolts of velvet? Furs, not even a lot of them, just nine yards? A few gems?”

Jonni shut the laptop down, and left the room with it, coming back a few minutes later from her office and closed the door to the conference room. It was a show to her partners, a show of mistrust over their patron. “You’re right. I mean, these two mooks should get shut down, and we can help the cops do that, since the Hamptons lack their own cape to do the job. But I wanted to take you through all of this, because I think you’re right. I think this is personal. I think Mockingbird has some kind of agenda about taking these two out. And I don’t want him to know what we talk about.”

“Do we have any idea why he would have some vendetta about these two?” Dawn asked slowly, still looking at the file, reviewing what the two criminals are able to do.

“Not yet, no,” Jonni admitted.

“Let’s focus on Punch and Jewelee first then,” Kendra said. “When we bust them, we can see what they might know. So we can try to follow the few leads the local cops have dug up and see where they are, or try to guess where they’re going next and cut ‘em off at the knees.”

“I was pretty stumped about what they were up to,” Jonni admitted. “It wasn’t until I was listening to Halo talk about her day, about joining the drama club, about sets and costumes, and it hit me. I didn’t think it could be right, but I went and did some searching.” She shook her head in disbelief as she spoke.

“And what did you find?” Onyx smirked.

“A performance of King Lear,” Jonni said. She slid out a flyer she’d printed out earlier that evening. “Set for tomorrow. A charity event out in the Hamptons. Lots of rich people, sure to be lots of money and valuables. And I think they stole costuming to be in the show.” She rolled her eyes up and sighed again.

“Really? Really?” Kendra asked and reached down to her backpack, scrabbling through the things within to yank out her tablet and turn it on. “Told you this was hard work,” she grumbled at Jonni as she flipped through the bookmarks and opened one of the plays of Shakespeare. “The Fool, they’re going to play the Fool?”

“Maybe they want the Fool to have a bigger part,” Dawn suggested. “There’s a point of contention about how the Fool vanishes in the third act after being a major character. Some say the Fool is Cordelia in disguise. But Cordelia dies at the end.”

“You’re telling me that they want to rewrite Shakespeare?” Onyx asked.

“And get rich. Let’s keep our priority in crimes being committed by these guys,” Kendra said. She looked at the flyer. “Wow, there’s some really great names in this show. If we can nab these guys early, maybe we can catch the play?”

“Why not? It’s for a good cause, after all,” Jonni laughed.


Middle Hampton, NY
Gage Theater
Ladonna Jameal sat at her vanity, applying her makeup and quite excited for the show. This would be a big evening for her, a chance to boost her career. Out in the crowd were not just the rich elite, but show business folk. People who could make her career, help her get to that next level, and she intended to give them a Cordelia they’d never forget.

“Ms. Jameal?” The voice followed a polite rap at the dressing room door, and the actress glanced over her shoulder. “Candace Akins, from the Calvin Crier,” the voice announced through the thin wood. “Could I have just a moment, please, from an up-and-coming starlet?”

She sighed and then pushed herself up from her table. She opened up the door to see Jewelee standing there with a huge grin on her face. “You’re no--”

“Nope. I’m not. But it’s alright, sweetie.” She interrupted the actress with a red burst of light from the jewels on her wrist, then shoved her back into the dressing room. “Just have to take some measurements, don’t mind me.” She shifted to the yellow gem and let it scan Ladonna’s face: an exact replica of the black woman’s round cheeks and slim chin floated off the face and between the two women.

“I...won’t...mind...you…” Ladonna confirmed as she stared straight ahead, mesmerized and uncaring.

“Man, do you know how long it’s been since I got to do Shakespeare?” Jewelee asked no one in particular, since Ladonna wasn’t able to engage in conversation. The criminal swung off a pack from her shoulders and pulled out the costume they’d been making for her. “I mean, Clyde...that’s my goof of a husband, Punch...see, he’s all about the puppeteering and that’s cool, but I was an actress when we met in college. Yeah, I went to college, sweet-cheeks, don’t give me that stare.” She laughed and pointed the red gem up to the mirror, letting the light bounce off and and catch some of the glittering fabric on a dress rack, then into Ladonna’s eyes.

“Sorry...to...cast...aspersions...miss…” Ladonna answered and made Jewelee laugh.

“Oh, it’s okay, dear! Opening night jitters will make a terrible bitch of a girl, sometimes.” She patted Ladonna’s cheek. “I promise, you will get a standing ovation, you can just bank on it!” She used the yellow jewel to move the hovering replica of Ladonna over her own face. She opened the door and blew a kiss over her shoulder at the immobilized actress.

“Going somewhere?” Hawkgirl asked as Jewelee bounced off the heroine, who stood at the door, arms crossed and flexing a bicep.

Immediately, Jewelee bounced back to the far side of the room with her spring-boots, and raised up the sparkling blue gem, but Hawkgirl merely hooked a thumb to point behind her. There was Onyx with Punch slung under one arm. “Sting string!” she declared as she pulled out the spare gun from her side. She preferred her jewels, but Hawkgirl blocked most of the light and she didn’t think it’d strike both heroines. So a half-dozen yellow beams of light reached out and struck Hawkgirl, a couple slipping past to strike Onyx, to hold them in place.

“Strings can be cut,” Dawn said as she swung her tomahawk down to do just that, separating her team-mates from Jewelee’s weapon. “Want to see what it does to two-bit thieves?”

“I am not two-bit!” Jewelee stamped her foot angrily, and used that to propel her fast toward Hawkgirl, but a mace from her and a sidekick from Onyx put the criminal down hard.

“Is she out?” Onyx asked as Dawn checked on her. She saw the shaman nod her head and added, “Good. Didn’t want her to hear she wasn’t wrong. That sting-string sucks.”

“Yeah, it does. C’mon, let’s drop these guys off with the cops. Jonni’s saving our seats,” Kendra said with an excited edge to her voice.


Platinum Flats,
Jonni’s Office
Jonni Thunder stepped into her personal office, crossed the small space and sat down heavily into her chair. She swiveled it a bit, a long-established habit, and stared at the closed laptop, then to the folders stacked to the other side of the desk. Several outstanding cases, normal cases, she thought idly as she thumbed through the top three. A stalker, an unfaithful spouse, a security leak from a warehouse. Nothing like the other cases from her laptop. She wanted to focus on those for a while, but since their return the previous night from busting Punch and Jewelee, she knew she’d have to contact him and let him know what was up. And he’d already know, that frustrated her.

Where did that inspiration really come from? she bitterly thought as she stared at the square of plastic and silicon. Yeah, Halo’s talk about materials for costumes, sure. But that was a Hail Mary at best. What did you have to do with it, you sneaky little son of a bitch?

“Ms. Thunder.” The voice came out from a shadowy corner of her office. Behind her, and above her, she thought as she immediately leaped over her desk. She rolled to her coat-rack, reaching for her holster. “Don’t, Ms. Thunder. I won’t let you reach it, and it’s not what I’m here for.”

Now she could see the figure. He clung to the upper corner of her office, the bruise-dark purple body-suit and copper-orange mask blending into the shadows. He hung there like an over-sized arachnid, and large black lenses stared down at her, unblinking, revealing nothing. “And you are who? And here for what?” She asked as she slowly stood, and reached for her revolver anyway. She did it slow though, as if her body refused to accept her signal to stop.

“Black Spider,” he declared, leaping from the corner to the top of her desk. He crouched there, ready to spring, his lean and muscled body taut. “I want to know what you did with their gear?”

“Whose gear? Who are you working for?” She recognized a professional question from a professional investigator, even one dressed as a purple bug. Her hand closed on the handgrip, but she didn’t raise it at him.

“Punch and Jewelee. See, they paid their dues, so they’re entitled to their privileges, no matter how crazy they are.”

“Injustice Unlimited,” Jonni finally made the connection and tensed up further. She wanted to step back, but there was nowhere for her to go. “Hawkgirl told me about you guys.”

“Right. The legal eagles will see to their case, but their gear, that we can’t leave in police custody. The Feds come along and nip it for themselves and it becomes so much harder to retrieve. So I ask again, since we know the g-men haven’t come yet, ‘where did their gear go?’ Where did you put it?”

“That is a really good question,” Jonni grumbled and set her eyes on the laptop.
to be continued…