#46: "Toy Soldiers, Part 2 (of 2)

Toys.

They are the foundation of childhood. A thousand memories of youth bottled into one single object. They bring joy and fun without ever speaking a single word.

But today…

Today they are something entirely different.



SIZZZZZ!

The acid melted away the floor beneath the wooden feet of Toyman. He leapt away from the next spray of chemicals in the nick of time, though a drop hit the shoulder of his jester-like outfit.

“You’re going to have to try a lot harder than that, I’m afraid.” Toyman said.

Across from him, only a few feet away was a short man clad in a purple sweater vest with a bow tie neatly resting at the top. His face was covered by a doll head mask which had a permanent smile pasted onto its face.

“Oh don’t worry, the game is only beginning and I think it’s going to be oh so much fun!” The man who also used the name Toyman said with his usual childish glee. “Now hold still.”

“No thank you.”

The wooden Toyman moved with surprising agility, his limbs jingling and clanking together with each swift movement. He came at the doll headed man, slapping away the acid spewing super soaker. The short masked man let out a yelp, diving away from another punch.

“Running away already? I thought you said this was going to be fun.”

Toyman reached over to one of the shelves of the isle they were in, picking up at paddleball toy. He bounced the ball on the string up and down for a moment before he slapped the ball toward his fleeing enemy. The string suddenly stretched as the ball pulled it through the air, smashing against the back of his opponent’s doll mask.

The masked man dropped onto his stomach, sliding across the floor before screeching to halt. He crawled up a bit, turning to face his counterpart.

“I remember you. You were one of my brother’s toys.”

“Oh so that is you under there, Preston. I never thought you liked to play games like this. I’ve tried really hard to prove who was the real Toyman but you’re really turning this into quite a big mess. And I don’t like messes.”

“You’re not the real Toyman!” Preston Schott yelled from beneath his mask.

“And you are?” Toyman chuckled. “Look at you playing dress up, Preston. You’re wearing that doll mask to try to make yourself believe that you really belong with toys. But it’s all just an act. Me…”

Toyman took his right index finger and scrapped along his left arm, splinters of wood falling onto the ground.

“…I’m all natural. Heh.”



Clouds passed by while the Man of Steel rocketed across the sky, the outlines of skyscrapers appearing in the distance. The silhouette of the Daily Planet globe could be seen but that wasn’t Superman’s destination.

Preston’s Toyland Emporium was coming into view as the hero descended through the air. He sped up to the locked entrance, smashing the doors open with a single punch. He scanned the isles of the large store carefully with his x-ray vision, catching sight of two men in the midst of battle.

Superman noticed a Frisbee slice through the air from his left and dart past him, crashing into one of the shelves a short distance away in a fiery explosion.

“Look what we have here, hehe.” Preston stared down the toy-filled isle at Superman who began to advance toward him. Preston got ready to run, the smile on his mask beaming. He blinked and the hero appeared an inch from him, towering over him.

“No more games, Toyman. I know who you are.” Superman said boldly.

“He’s not Toyman!” Laughed who Superman knew was the second man from behind. He turned to find the other Toyman, his wooden limbs jingling with each step. “I am!”

Superman looked from Preston to Toyman for a second before Preston took a small step forward, a remote clutched in his hands.

“Sorry but this is a game for two, Superman. You get winner.” Preston Schott laughed wickedly beneath his doll-like mask, pulling a remote from his pant pocket. “In the meantime though, here’s a game to get you warmed up…a real fun one!”

Preston’s finger pressed down on a large green button on the remote and there was suddenly a loud clinging and clanging of metal filling the store. Superman turned his attention away from the two Toymen and turned around.

Towering over him at around nine feet tall, two enormous robots loomed. One was red…the other blue. Superman blinked for a moment before shaking his head with a bit of annoyance.

“You have got to be ki-“

The blue robot’s fist cracked against the hero’s jaw and to his surprise, packed a great amount of power. Superman was thrown off of his feet and crashing into the rows of shelves in the toy store, shattering through each of them like paper. He didn’t feel pain when he finally landed flat on his back, atop the wrecked half of the toy store…but rather, surprise.

The two giant Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em robots were coming at him and Superman shook the ringing in his head away, then proceeding to get back up to his feet, the pair of robots closing in on him, stepping over the fallen shelves.

“Never was a fan of this toy. Too violent for my taste.”

Superman blasted forward, flying inches from the ground, colliding into the twelve foot tall blue robot and bringing him up into the air. He smashed his knuckles against the robot’s metal face but it had little effect.

A punch from the robot struck Superman square on the top of the head, bringing him tumbling back down to the floor. He regained his senses when the robot landed inches in front of him, throwing another hook that hit the Man of Steel, this time sending him twirling through the air into a stack of action figures.

He couldn’t believe the strength of these robots.

Preston Schott was certainly not any less of a great toymaker than his brother was.

Speaking of Preston, Superman took a quick peek over at the two Toymen who were once again, entrapped in a deadly duel. His wandering thoughts were interrupted by the robots yet again when the scarlet shaded one trapped him in a headlock from behind.

The blue machine was already back in front of him and try as he may, he was unable to get out of the red one’s grip. Superman writhed and struggled but to no avail while the navy robot raised his fist once more.

Superman’s retinas flared up while his enemy’s punch came barreling into view. Heat vision poured from his eyes, spewing against the robots hand, causing it to stray a bit off course. Superman ducked and the blue robot’s hand collided with his red counterpart’s head, knocking it clean off.

The red robot behind Superman dropped to the floor, sparks flashing from its now opened up neck.

“Guess Schott’s a bit too good at making toys.”

Superman narrowly avoided another punch from the blue robot before grabbing the machine’s skull with his bare hands, realizing now that the head area was the weak spot of the machines, and tore its off so he could toss it away, turning his undivided attention back to the two Toymen.



“Haha! Dreidel drediel dreidel. I made it out of clay! And when it’s dry and ready. My dreidel I will play! Hoohah!”

The youthful laughs echoed through Preston Schott’s mask while he threw spinning tops at his enemy. The tops spun rapidly while they skidded across the tiles. Toyman leapt out of the way, causing one top to go crashing into a spare toy that was lying on the ground, exploding on impact.

“This is oh so much fun. I really wish it didn’t have to end.” Preston cheered, throwing another handful of tops at Toyman. “I always hate to break a perfectly good toy but you, imposter, have really grown boring.”

A few of the tops exploded near Toyman’s wooden feet, knocking him onto his back.

“Boring? Boring was watching my creator, your brother, in a coma.”

“Don’t talk about Winslow.” Preston hissed from behind his mask’s frozen smile. “Don’t.”

“Talk about what? How he wasn’t even fit to call himself Toyman, just like you? Hehe.” The wooden man rolled to his feet, his back creaking as he did so. “You both are frauds…and like I said, are too busy trying to be toys when you can’t face that you’re not.”

“Enough!” Preston threw a handful of tops at Toyman who leapt onto a large jack in the box and sprang from it, tackling into his doll headed counterpart.

Toyman smacked his wooden head against Preston Schott’s doll mask, cracking it across its forehead before beginning to bombard his enemy with a flurry of punches to the face. Preston let out a cry of pain while the animarionette continued his assault.

“I’ll tell you exactly what I told your brother when I murdered him in that hospital bed, Preston! There’s only one Toyman! I’ve found who I am, understand! And I’m not going to lose that again!”

Toyman laid waste to Preston who was trying desperately to slither his way away from his attacker. Toyman’s fists continued to bash at Preston until he felt a firm hand tighten around his shoulder. Toyman’s head craned a 360 degree angle around his neck and he caught a glimpse of the S shield before being thrown backward, crashing into a pile of Beanie Babies.

Superman walked over to the beaten Preston who was weakly crawling away in fear. Superman grasped the back of Preston’s sweater vest and lifted the petite madman up into the air with ease. He stared hard into the doll mask which now had a few cracks running along its façade.

“Game over, Schott. I’m bringing you and your friend over there to Stryker’s.” Superman said.

“N-not yet…this g-g-game is sti-still on.”

Superman’s gaze wandered and discovered Preston was clutching a device in his hand. A device with a big red button.

“I don’t lose my own g-ga-games, Superman. Hehe.” Preston managed to laugh with his childish glee.

Preston’s finger pressed down on the button before the Man of Steel was able to react and there was a strange sizzling sound coming from behind. Superman, with Preston still in tow, turned around and saw a large bottle rocket made from tons of empty Mountain Dew bottles launch up into the air, a trail of water splashing in its wake.

It crashed through the sunroof and ascended into the air. Superman’s eyes narrowed and with his microscopic vision, he perceived a nuclear warhead-- these madmen and their ability to collect weapons-grade munitions-- maddening! His attention shifted back to the man he held up.

“You made a nuclear missile!?”

“I never was very good at games but I still make sure I always win. Hehe. This is gonna be a blast!” Preston Schott chuckled hysterically. “Now what are you going to do, Superman? Save Metropolis or arrest me? Hahahaha! You can only chose one!”

Superman looked from Schott to the hole in the sunroof and rolled his eyes.

“Like I said, Schott…I’m done playing games.”

He dropped Preston onto the floor and then zipped over to the two Rock Em Sock Em Robots, bringing them back to Preston and crushed them down to a smaller size before wrapping their metal bodies around the Toyman, welding it all into a tight restraint with his heat vision.

“You’re cheating! This isn’t fair!”

Schott’s yells went unheard while Superman flew into the sky, in pursuit of the missile. In minutes, he was once again standing in front of Preston, holding a now disarmed nuclear warhead in his hands.

However, by the time he got back, there was no sign of the other Toyman who had vanished from sight.



“Well what’s this? ‘Toyman Copycat Behind Bars’ by Lois Lane.”

Edward Lytener leaned over Lois Lane’s desk while he read the front page of the day’s Daily Planet in his hands.

“Turns out it was Winslow Schott’s brother who was responsible for the bank robberies. Why’s there always have to be an evil sibling with these bad guys?” Lois said with a slight smirk. “So anyways, Superman put that psycho behind bars and the case is closed.”

“Really?” Edward questioned. “Cause it says here that Superman also encountered a third Toyman. One who as you put it, ‘a man whose body was entirely made of wood’. Sounds a bit odd if you ask me.”

“Just another robot. Not too shocking if you think about just how many toys Toyman has made over the years.”

“And this robot is still at large?”

“Well yeah, but I’m sure he won’t be able to get away from Superman for long.” Lois said, her mind suddenly veering away from her conversation and thinking about the man she loved most in the world.

“I sure hope so. If he was able to get away from the Boy Scout before…who’s to say he couldn’t do it again? Maybe this guy’s a bit more than ‘just another robot’?” Edward suggested.

Lois smiled assuredly.

“Maybe…but I seriously doubt it.”



To love toys was one thing but to be one…that’s something else.

Toyman cracked his wooden neck with a bit of distress. It had been quite difficult to get it out of being stuck in place backwards like it had been after Superman had tossed him onto the floor. But thankfully, he had friends in high places.

Or rather, just friends.

Deathstroke, The Terminator sharpened his blade while Toyman continued to crack his creaking joints into place.

“I usually wouldn’t risk so much even for an ally. So be grateful I did.” Deathstroke said, his face hidden by his orange and black mask. Sparks flared from his sword while he continued to sharpen its edges. “Quite a fight you had back there.”

“I actually thought it’d be a bit more fun than it turned out to be.”

“Heh. I’ve had times like that. Times when I was hunting a very difficult target and I believed it would be very entertaining to make my way and kill him but unfortunately…sometimes you end up disappointed. Not really a big problem though. Comes with the territory.”

“At least Preston won’t be getting in my way anymore.”

“And how did that feel? Putting that imposter in his place?”

Toyman looked down at the splinters in his peeling hand and he felt it beginning to slowly quiver. He hadn’t felt anything in so long. Not a blip of real emotions. Not hate nor love, and not even fear.

But today…today was different.

“It felt…good.”