#5: All the King's Horses... (Coenen / DrDread)

Thursday, 7:15 pm
The Rooftop of Gotham City Police Department

Once more the symbol of the bat lights up the skies of Gotham City.

LT. Detective Jim Gordon stood on the rooftop with a cigarette in one hand and what appeared to be some case files in the other. You didn’t have to be the World's Greatest Detective to realize that he had a long tiring day.

“What can I do for you today, Jim?” asked Batman as he emerged from the shadows.

“ Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” Jim yelled. “You are going to give someone a heart attack one of these days.”

“I get that a lot.” Batman said , watching with some concern as Jim puffed on a cigarette.

“Have you been reading the Gotham Gazette?” Jim asked. “Particularly Vicki Vale’s article on Gotham City’s newest serial killer, Humpty Dumpty?” Jim threw his finished cigarette over the ledge of the building.

“It caught my eye.”

“This afternoon we found another body. That makes five in as many weeks.” Jim thumbed through the files. “ We are no closer to finding the Un-Sub (*Author note: Un-Sub = Unidentified Subject) than we were a month ago.”

“What do you have so far?” asked Batman as he grabbed the files from Jim’s hands.

“Not a whole lot. T.O.D. (*Author note: T.O.D. = Time of Death) puts the victims dead on Wednesday, around 1:30pm.”

“Have you got a weapon?”

“We don’t know. The coroner said that Humpty’s first two victims appeared to have been cut with a chainsaw along the joints. The last ones were cut with something that cauterized the flesh to stop the bleeding.” Jim elaborated. “ Here’s the kicker. He stitches them up again.”

“That is unusual,” said Batman with a bewildered look on his face. “Anything else?”

“There is nothing that connects the victims, and the killer leaves no prints,” said Jim. “Oh, I almost forgot. This is what we haven’t told the press. He’s taking body parts as trophies. A different part from each victim. So far, it’s been two legs, two arms, and a torso to be exact.”

“We have one disturbed person here, Jim. I‘ll look into it. If you come across anything new let me know.” ordered Batman.

Jim looked away for one second to light up another cigarette. When he turned back Batman was gone.

“Godspeed, old friend.” muttered Jim as he stared into the Gotham night.

9:00 pm
Apartment of Robert Austen

Batman sat across the street from Austen’s apartment, waiting for the opportune time to enter unnoticed. Inside, two forensic investigators worked hard to find evidence, any evidence that might lead them to this madman. One of them, Batman recognized as Humphrey Dumpler. He was a good forensics officer with whom he had previously had dealings. The other guy had to be new. Batman had never seen him before.

A few minutes passed and the two officers appeared to be wrapping things up. Batman saw his chance to enter. He withdrew his grappling hook from his belt, shot it across the street with amazing accuracy, and plunged it into the wall above the late Robert Austen’s Bedroom window. The wind caught Batman’s cape, creating the illusion of a giant bat flying through the night. The two officers left and Batman entered through the window.

At first glance, it appeared that the forensics team had thoroughly examined the crime scene, but Batman was skeptical. He was reaching for the mini-lab kit on his belt when Alfred called him.

“Sir, Is this a good time to talk?”

“Go ahead, What do you have?” asks Batman as he touched the earpiece on his cowl.

“The only connecting factor that I have detected is that the same forensic officer has worked each case. One Humphrey Dumpler,” Alfred elaborated as he shuffled papers.

“Really? He was working the case tonight.” Batman said as he sprayed Luminol over the spot where the officers had found Robert Austen’s body earlier.

“I need you to run a background check on Humphrey.” ordered Batman as he reached for his UV light.

“I believe, Sir, that I am one step ahead of you. I have already run the check,” said Alfred as he reached for a file “Dumpler was orphaned at a young age. His parents died in a car crash one evening on their way back from the movies.”

“Was he in the car?” asked Batman, as he took a forensic swab to a blood spot he found on the carpet.

“Indeed he was, Sir,” said Alfred. “According to the police report, he was in the back seat for three hours before anyone found him.”

“How did the accident happen?” Batman asked as he looked for more clues.

“ A drunk driver sped headlong into the Dumplers’ automobile. The hood dislodged from the drunk driver’s car. It went through the Dumplers’ windshield, and decapitated them. When they found young Humphrey, he was in shock with his parents heads in his lap,” explained Alfred. “Subsequently, the lad was placed in an orphanage.”

“Quiet, Alfred,” whispered Batman as he looked around “I think someone’s coming.”

“Sir!” Exclaimed Alfred. “You must hear this. While at the orphanage, Humphrey was disciplined several times for fighting. It appears that the other children would humiliate Humphrey, by calling him Humpty Dumpty. I think Humphrey Dumpler might be your man.”

Noiselessly, Humphrey crept up behind Batman. Not many people could do such a thing. Humphrey held a stun baton at the ready in his left hand. Batman turned, fist clenched prepared for a fight, but Humphrey was faster. He brought his Stun Master Stun Baton to Batman’s face. The baton delivered a high-voltage shock to his right cheek. Batman fell to the floor. Humphrey quickly got a handkerchief and a bottle of chloroform.

“I always wondered what made the Batman tick. I think I’m going to have to take you apart to find out.” laughed Humphrey as he spilled some chloroform on the handkerchief and then placed the handkerchief over Batman’s mouth and nose.

Epilogue
Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane
4 months later

Grant and Dave had been security guards on the graveyard shift at Arkham for twenty years. They had seen some strange people on their watch. Killer clowns, walking scarecrows, and man-eating animals. This night would be no exception.

“Those people in Metropolis did one hell of a job rebuilding this guy.” said Dave to Grant as they looked in on Humphrey Dumpler’s room.

“Why would they put in so much time and money on this freak?” asked Grant “I mean artificial limbs and cybernetic joints. Come on! It could have been spent on a better person.”

“I don’t know, but if this guy gets out…” exclaimed Dave.

“He won’t be as easy to take down.” interrupted Grant as the two walked away from Humphrey’s room.

Inside the room Humphrey lay on a bed wrapped in white bandages looking at the ceiling.

“All the king’s horses did put Humphrey back together again. Even better then before.” whispered Humphrey as he gazed off into space, plotting his revenge.