FORGIVENESS
introducing JENNIFER STUART
written by James Stubbs
The weight of the world never seemed to burden his shoulders so much as this morning. His problem wasn't unique. Everyone from Washington onward had looked forward to the time when they could leave the Oval Office cleared behind them for the next administration. The aggravations wore on Jeb Stuart and he just wanted to spend the rest of his days at the end of a dock, with nothing more to worry about than the bobber on his fishing pole.
He laughed softly to himself. Ironically it wasn't giant starfish from outer space or some supervillain out to bring the nation to its knees, things that would test any mortal man, but the accumulation of political garbage. He wasn't sure if he should believe the press and that he was a communist, a socialist, or the antichrist. The truth was that he felt... tainted, a better word refused to come to mind, for his civic duty. Thinking back on it, he had to have been crazy to ever want this job. Thank God he wouldn't have to explain his decision. The end of his second term couldn't get here soon enough. Let another man shoulder the load.
Jeb spared a glance out of the window behind him and took a moment to admire the snow. It surely raised holy hell on the roads and airports, from here, it was beautiful. It looked like they were going to get a white Christmas after all. He heard the door open behind him. "Do I have anything pressing this morning, Ms. Lupinsky?" he asked without looking to see who it was.
"Post-election doldrums, sir. Your schedule is clear until three o'clock. I was checking to see if you needed anything," she said.
Jeb swiveled the chair around to face her. Melissa Lupinsky was the very model of political efficiency. Forty-four, full of no nonsense, and didn't think getting him a cup of coffee as an insult upon her position. She dealt with a lot of the garbage before it ever reached him and, for that, he was forever grateful.
"No thank you, unless you can hold down the fort for another two months and let me sneak out the back door," he said.
"Above my pay grade, sir, and, no offense, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."
President Stuart smiled. "And you're holding down this job why?"
"I was dropped on my head a few times as a kid," she said with a smile.
"Well that explains why you put up with an old warhorse like me at any rate but that—"
Jeb's attention was suddenly drawn to an envelope sitting on his desk, unstamped and simply labeled "Jeb". He was certain there hadn't been anything there before he had turned around to admire the weather.
"Did the mail arrive for today?" he asked, keeping his voice neutral.
"No sir. I believe security is still inspecting it," she replied. "Why?"
"No reason," he said. "I've got nothing else to do and I hate sitting around doing nothing."
"You could have fooled me," she said. "If you don't need anything, I'll be at my desk."
He waited for the door to close before picking up the envelope. He at least had the strength to read the simple letter inside before his fingers began to tremble.
* * * * *
Encased in a womb of ablative armor and enough computers to make Redmond envious, Jennifer Stuart closed her eyes, exhaled slowly, and felt peace. She belonged here.
"Lieutenant, drop zone in three... two... one... " a fuzzy voice came over her headset before the solid flooring of the C-17 cargo jet disappeared with a metallic grating noise, leaving nothing between her and the ground but 16,000 feet of air.
Her body pressed against the restraints and her stomach attempted to claw up her throat as screens blazed to life in front of her. Rate of descent, trajectory, computed impact area overlaid on a GPS map - it would have been complete information overload for the average person but she had spent months in training to filter only the most relevant facts. As lead pilot for the CCAV, a position she had fought hard to win, she was used to the operation and quirks of her big metal baby. And, as this was the first test of the Cyber-Command Assault Vehicle's airdrop capability, it was only fitting that she be behind the controls.
At just a hair over fifty tons, her tank wasn't in the class of a main battle tank like the Abrams, but was smaller and more maneuverable in urban environments. Well, that and the fact that it was just her - every other crewmember's duties were replaced by computers and that was just fine with her. She worked best alone. That, and electronics, no matter how sophisticated, didn't get upset when you yelled at them.
She slammed back into her seat as a loud ripping noise penetrated the hull. "PARACHUTES DEPLOYED" flashed on her auxiliary systems display. Jennifer was sure she'd feel this in the morning. There's a damn good reason why vehicles were dropped unmanned. The technicians had wanted to run this test in a real world simulation but she had pulled rank. Being the daughter of the President had some perks even if she tried not to throw her weight around too much. Besides, who would be better to tell immediately once on the ground if there were any damage or malfunctions? The test was to land the tank and drive it away. She just saved the eggheads a step.
"Lieutenant Stuart, an important message has just come in for you." The electronic voice came into her ear again and she could detect the annoyance under the neutral tone.
Dad. It was the only time she got that reaction. A lot of people were uncomfortable with her apparent youth despite her actual age, combined with the fact that she was flesh and blood of the President of the United States actively in the Army. To her father's credit, however, he didn't stand in her way and was proud of all that she had accomplished, even if he couldn't say anything without being accused of favoritism.
"Hi Jen. Merry Christmas. How's my baby girl?" the voice in her ears popped and squawked as it made the encrypted jump from who-knows-how-many satellites.
"I'm at about ten thousand feet and falling, dad. If I'm lucky, I won't be making a crater in the next ten minutes," she said.
Her father's voice didn't miss a beat. "That's lovely, honey." Jennifer Stuart made a mental note to work harder on rattling her father's nerves. "Listen," Jeb continued, "when you put boots on the ground, I need you to go see someone." ??She frowned and noted that she was now under nine thousand feet and her descent was slowing. Was that a hint of worry in her father's voice? The same man who didn't bat an eye at her plummeting to earth in a tank sounded worried about a personal visit. "Is something wrong?" she asked.
"No. No. Nothing like that," her dad's voice came back quickly. "There's an old friend of mine who'd like to meet you."
***
The slip of paper simply said "Minetta Triangle, Greenwich Village." If this had been anyone other than her father she would have brushed them off as a crackpot. Jennifer Stuart wandered near the park and ignored the looks she was getting at her BDUs, as well as the quick-darkening skies. Was someone to meet her here? If so, nobody approached her from the park and the surrounding streets were empty. This was not how she had intended to spend Christmas Eve. Another ten minutes and, the hell with this, she’d just leave. If she wanted a wild goose chase, she’d help the base MPs with trying to round up AWOL soldiers after Christmas leave.?
A flicker of light out of the corner of her eye drew her attention to a solitary light bulb flaring to life above the door to a storefront. Everything else remained murky as if that single light subjugated all the neon on the street. Her feet took her to the front of the weathered brownstone of their own accord. Faded golden lettering on the dingy plate glass window simply said "Madame Xanadu." She drew back as something skittered on the other side of the dirty pane, something that didn't look much like anything she had seen.
The rational part of her mind that assured her that this was a waste of time and that she should leave only found a deaf audience as her hand instinctively found the well-worn faux brass doorknob. Confidence and a sense of belonging washed over her body. The front door swung open with a pleasant enough tinkle of a bell and fully stifled her instinct to turn and get away. ?
The foyer remained mostly dark with a feeble electric sconce on the wall illuminating the old wallpaper that peeked between the heavy velvet cloth covering most of the hallway. A small Christmas tree, lit with white lights and a few plain ball ornaments, sat on an elaborate end table of dark polished wood carved to resemble a cowering man. What she had seen so far had been a strange contrast between the run-down and the opulently grotesque.
She steeled herself. She was a tank commander who had seen battle - not someone to run screaming at a scene out of a bad haunted house movie. Her father asked her to come here and, by God, she wouldn't leave until she had seen whoever he wanted her to see.
"Hello?" she called out and stepped across the threshold.
A shapely woman in a long purple dress stepped out from behind a curtained doorway. Jennifer guessed she was in her thirties. The woman held an old leather-bound book in her hand and snapped it shut at the sight of her, even though the pages continued to squirm between the covers. Ebon hair framed the exotic features of her face and Jennifer failed at trying to place any sort of nationality to the woman. The smile on her face, however, was genuine, if a bit brittle.
"Jennifer Stuart?" the woman asked.
"Did you put my father up to this?" she asked. Skipping the formalities seemed appropriate.
"Of course I did. He wasn't going to otherwise despite—" She caught herself. "Perhaps it would be better to talk in the parlor."
If the hall had been odd enough, the parlor took the cake. The walls were adored with all kinds of relics and fetishes, from African tribal masks to Native American dreamcatchers. The centerpiece of the room was a large round table covered in red velvet and a crystal ball in its center. It screamed carnival theatrics but she had little doubt that everything was real. Jennifer stole a glance into a side room full of shelves and large glass jars. The woman quickly yanked a curtain across that doorway, blocking her view.
"You're not ready for that yet," she said and sat down at the head of the table, waiting.
"I'd rather stand, thank you," Jennifer replied and fervently hoped that her dad hadn't gone in for kooky astrology. There were enough rumors during the Reagan years but still...
"Tell me something, Ms. Stuart, Have you ever wondered who your mother was?" She watched her guest’s reaction to the words, then asked again, in a kinder voice, “Perhaps you would like to sit down?”
Jennifer felt her spine stiffen. Her mother left her father. Dad told her that much and she had never felt the desire to know the woman. Her childhood had been a happy one. The few times the subject of her mother came up, her dad looked pained enough that she never pressed the question. She was her father's daughter—
Wait. What if this was blackmail? Her father had sounded nervous enough. Jennifer remembered vividly the circus the media had made of her father being a single-parent during the re-election campaign. The fact that even they couldn't find anything about her mother just made it all the more juicy with "secret love child" headlines being thrown about.
"Ma'am, I don't want to know anyone who leaves their child, even if they happen to be my mother. If you're looking for money, you picked the wrong person and you're not going to bully my father."
It was the woman's turn to look surprised.?
"Jennifer," she said softly, "
I am your mother."
Jennifer laughed, a short bitter laugh. "You're what? Thirty? Thirty-five? You'd have had to be like ten...
Ugh. You really expect me to take this seriously? I really did waste my time."
There was a skittering noise overhead and a...
thing dropped down onto the table, making strange almost cooing noises and staring at Jennifer with a curious eye.
"Jesus Christ—"
"Please, don't upset him," the woman said and picked it up. It immediately ran and perched itself on her shoulder. "He's just a imp. Not too bright, but loyal."
Jennifer became aware of eyes, several of them, gazing down upon her from the darkness of the ceiling and couldn't bring herself to look upwards. She swallowed hard. This had to be some sort of trick.
"I have been around a very,
very long time, my child. I fell in love with your father when he was in France during Hitler's War. I never forgot him, more fool me. It took a few years, but I made my way here. Your father, I'm sad to say, still loved me. I should have known better—"
"Are you about ready to say that you shouldn't have had me?" Jennifer said and felt her teeth grit and anger flare. Even these lies were picking at old wounds. Fine. She could play along. A good mad-on would help. “It was bad enough that you abandoned me.”
"Far from it. You're the one thing in my life that I don't regret," the woman said with a sad smile. "I should have known better than to love a mortal man. After all the time I've lived, do you know how terrible it is to watch those you love age and die?"
"No. I wouldn't. Assuming I'm actually buying what you're selling, when did you and my father—"
"Right after his appointment to your House of Representatives. It was right at your Christmas-time then, as well. I was so proud of him and he was so excited for the future—"
The absolute look of sorrow that passed the woman's face cooled Jennifer's anger. "Maybe I should sit down.” Jen settled across from the woman and studied her. She still couldn’t tell if this was a complete nutcase or a very clever blackmailer. "I don't even think I got your name."
"Nimue."
"Why... why didn't you stay?"
Nimue sunk her head and studied the tablecloth.
"There would have been too many questions, especially as he got older and I didn't age. Questions about my past, family, and all the other things that your press like to dredge up." She laughed mirthlessly. "Hello, my name is Nimue. I watched Camelot burn and made a deal with Death. Oh, I'm also pregnant out of wedlock with a respected senator. I'm all about those ‘American values’."
Jennifer snorted. "Good point." Fake or not she appreciated the keen sarcasm.
"Still," Nimue said and looked at her, "you don't believe me."
"No offense, ma'am, you've given me nothing but a wild story," Jennifer said, not unkindly.
"You have a birthmark on the back of your left leg. It looks a bit like a star. Your father's nickname for you was 'Pinkie' because you used to always grab that finger when you were an infant. You—"
Jennifer leapt out of her seat, panic clutching her. "Anyone could find—"
Nimue looked at her sadly. "You have dreams about a mist-shrouded isle across the ocean where everyone lives in peace. There is a castle there on a tall hill. The flag on the eastern tower has the symbol of a dragon on it. There is a man with blonde hair wearing a crown looking over the ramparts. Do you want me to continue?"
Jennifer gaped, unable to form words, and dropped heavily back into her seat.
Nimue reached out and took her hand. "It is an old ancestral memory of a place called Avalon that is passed down from mother to daughter. One day I will go there, as will you. My blood runs in you. Jennifer, my child, you will live longer than most people. I only hope that it causes you less heartbreak."
The clatter of china drew Jennifer's attention as a five-foot tall, mottled green creature wheeled in a serving cart. "Tea, mistresses?" it rasped.
"This is Aldu, my self-appointed butler," Nimue composed herself at his arrival. "With a splash of milk, please."
Jennifer was proud that she didn't freak out and even mumbled "thank you" when a cup was prepared for her as well. "Why didn't my father tell me?" she asked and took a deep breath. The demon, if that's what it was, rolled the cart out of the room.
"Jeb," Nimue sighed and continued, "was... cautious about how people thought about him. Did he ever tell you about the ghost? Most people thought he was crazy so he learned to stop talking about it but the General was no delusion. When I was with you, I think he was afraid of what people might do if they found out about me."
"But—" Jennifer began.
"But he was right," Nimue said. "The last thing either of us wanted was for something to happen to you so I... agreed to leave. It was better for your father to raise you so that I could not influence you. I made him promise to tell you about me when you were younger but I think those old fears are still with him. I forced his hand. I'm sorry I did it, but I wanted to see my daughter."
"Why now though?"
"Your Christmas-time is a time of forgiveness is it not? I was hoping that you could find it in your heart to forgive me," Nimue said.
"You don't have anything to—"
"Please, daughter, you do not get as old as I am without a sizable amount of regret. You may not fault me, perhaps not now, but I live with my decision daily."
Jennifer reached over and took her mother's hand. "The important thing is that I got to meet you and put some of my own ghosts to bed. Believing my own mother abandoned me wasn't easy to grow up with."
"It made you stronger," Nimue said.
"It did, but it was a bitter pill. I forgive you... mother."
“That means a lot to me,” Nimue smiled and Jennifer truly thought she was beautiful when she did. “Who knows? Perhaps we and your father, once he is done with his horrible job, can vacation somewhere. I can’t have him come here. He doesn’t like it,” she grinned. “I think he has had enough of the supernatural to last him several lifetimes without compounding the Christmas spirit onto it.”